6 Things I Love About Being Pregnant
There are women out there who LOVE being pregnant. Wonderful, inspiring women who genuinely and naturally embrace every step of the process.
I am not one of those women.
To those of you who ARE those women, I want you to know: I admire you. My mind is totally baffled by the existence of you. And let’s be honest, I am very very jealous of you right now!
Don’t get me wrong: I think pregnancy is beautiful.
To become pregnant at all, to carry to full term, and to give birth to a healthy baby (or babies) are each miracles in and of themselves. The amount of things that have to go perfectly and the ways that that our bodies morph to accommodate and support the development of a tiny human life – it is ALL mind-blowingly awesome. And I know that there are many, many women and couples who suffer with unsuccessful or extremely complicated pregnancies.
None of this is lost on me. I do not take it for granted.
But…..amazed and grateful for it or not, the truth remains: I just don’t love being pregnant.
I don’t even know if I’m allowed to say that. It honestly feels like I am breaking a sacred oath that I unknowingly signed when I was born a female. The oath went something like: “If I ever become pregnant, I shall love, cherish and thoroughly enjoy every second of the miracle. If I don’t, I am hereby giving permission for my name to be moved from the “good mom” to the “bad mom” list because apparently, I am not a good enough, or grateful enough, mom to generate the correct positive feelings.” Signed in utero.
I know that’s bullshit….But Mom guilt is no joke. And it starts early.
I’m admitting all of this here because I know I’m not alone. The feelings around pregnancy and child-bearing can be complicated and contradictory. Immense joy can co-exist with depression. Excitement can mix with dread. Exhilarating hope for the future gets all tangled up with the debilitating grief for what is changing and being left behind.
And as if feelings aren’t complicated enough on their own, pregnancy brings hormones along for the fun.
I also think I got left behind on the cool perks of pregnancy I heard about. I don’t feel like I’m glowing, for example, and I don’t suddenly have a raging libido. It’s very disappointing. Even on a good pregnant day, I would simply prefer NOT being pregnant.
But I want the BABY and apparently these things kind of go together 🙂
I know it’s important to be honest and unashamed about how I’m feeling, but I also know it’s not helpful to focus and dwell on things (or the parts of things) that make me miserable.
I’ve spent some time contemplating the things that I LOVE, like actually really LOVE, (not just not hate or tolerate) about being pregnant. My plan is to focus on them, very intentionally, so I can try to soak up as much joy as possible from the experience.
And since I’m being SUPER honest here…I’m also hoping that it will help the weeks and months go by faster.
Here’s what I’ve come up with:
#6 SLEEP– I never get enough sleep. I am almost ALWAYS the last person up and and even if I wanted to go sleep early – I just can’t. I toss and turn and can’t turn my brain off.
Except….. when I’m pregnant!!
Suddenly, I can fall asleep early and easily. I can sleep 8-10 hours on a consistent basis. And I can’t even lie….it feels AMAZING!! So THIS is why people like to sleep!? I totally get it now.
And since I know this is temporary….I’m just going to savor every possible second of sweet, sweet sleep I can get and hope that it carries me through the next 18 years of raising children 🙂
#5 FOOD – I love pasta. Tortellini especially, but I really love ALLLLL pasta. And pizza. And bread. Basically, I would be in a constant carb-overload coma if I lived in Italy. I also don’t typically eat breakfast. I’m usually just not hungry in the mornings and my coffee is all I need.
But, when I’m pregnant, I crave waffles and french toast sticks and bagels and Count Chocula cereal. And while I make sure to try and keep my salad and veggie intake up, I definitely don’t hold back with my carbs. Bring on my overly-buttered noodles and tortellini, and mac and cheese, and lasagna, and baked ziti, and stuffed crust pizza and garlic bread!! MMMMMMMM.
I’m also not usually much of a sweets person. I like them, but I don’t crave them and often turn them down . But you guys….have you tried ice cream while pregnant!!?!? Oh.Em.GEEEEE. It’s the best thing ever.
#4 BACKRUBS – I’m not sure I would ever turn down a good massage or backrub. But they are borderline orgasmic when I’m pregnant. It’s crazy. And the best part? My husband is much more willing to hand them out when he knows I’m doing the hard work of growing and carrying our babe around inside of me.
So….I will be happily indulging and asking for as many as I can possibly get. 100% guilt-free. I’m already looking forward to my next one…
#3 LIFE RESET– The first time I found out I was pregnant, I sat down the coffee mug in my hand and stared at it. “Omg, I can’t finish my coffee,” I thought. And then all the rest of the “I can’ts” came flooding in.
Not only can I not drink coffee, I can’t drink any caffeine. I can’t finish the workout program I started. I can’t drink a glass of wine with dinner or go out for drinks with my friends. I can’t sneak that cigarette every now and then. I can’t make that career change I was considering. I can’t eat lunch meat. Or seafood. I don’t even LIKE seafood but I don’t like that I CAN’T have it. I can’t. I can’t. I CAN’T.
I’ve learned a lot since my initial overreaction. There’s a lot I can still do. I can drink coffee or caffeine, just not as much. I can work out, but I have to be more careful. I can eat lunch meat but it has to be heated up first. I can go out with friends, I just can’t drink. The booze and cigarettes are still a big no-no of course, but most of the time during my pregnancies, both of those things have sounded awful anyway. And hey, companies and restaurants have really stepped up their game for non-alcoholic options which can be fun.
I have also realized things that I CAN do when pregnant that seem harder when I’m not. Like saying “No” if I don’t want to do something and not feeling guilty about it. I can focus more clearly on what I actually need to be healthy, instead of how things make me look.
Pregnancy can be a much-needed excuse to take a break from patterns of thinking, habits, routines and people. Any of them. All of them. The unhealthy ones, but also the perfectly healthy ones.
It can feel like a time-out to think about the role that allllll the things are playing in life. What do I really want? What do I really need? What are those thoughts, people, practices and things actually doing for me? What do I REALLY want to do with my life?
It can be the perfect chance to re-assess and re-set. Not just because a new baby is coming and life is inevitably going to change (although that is very true), but also because sometimes it just feels good to realize what’s important to you and seize the opportunity to focus on it.
#2 NESTING – For me, nesting always ends up being more than just baby clothes and a nursery.
The first time we were pregnant, we had only been in our new home for a few months, so “nesting” meant painting and furnishing pretty much the whole house. And we had to do it much quicker than we originally planned because we didn’t want to be sitting on the floor in the living room with a new baby.
There is something deeply sweet about walking around a space and thinking about all the future memories that are going to be made there. Something so exciting about arranging and decorating things knowing that my little family is going to be sitting there, crawling on that, playing with this. They will be learning what “safe” and “home” and love feel like surrounded by the all things that I am placing and arranging.
Sure, its just stuff, I know. But my kid’s childhood memories will be furnished and decorated with this stuff. I find meaning and fulfillment in that.
This time around, we are finishing the basement. It’s something we were planning to do anyway at some point, but the thought of our 1 year old continuing to grow AND adding a new little one makes the extra functional space extremely appealing. We are looking at layouts and designs and imagining both of our little ones playing and growing up in this space. We are thinking about how we can create spaces that grow with them as babies turn into kids, kids into teens, teens into adults.
It’s very exciting and I’m loving it all over again 🙂
And for the record…. I am also really looking forward to decorating a second nursery and buying new baby clothes!
#1 FEELING MY BABY – This one is probably the most obvious but its also the most precious.
I love feeling the flutters of movement. It’s so soft in the early months. I would find myself smiling, touching my belly, and wondering what little movement made that tiny tickle. Now it’s more obvious when its an arm or a leg moving around versus a knee or a butt sticking up and I’m picturing what all these movements will look like in a bassinet.
It fills me with this incredible feeling of love and protection. I look at my current little one and think about how much I love and adore her, and then I feel those flutters and movements, and I start to wonder if my heart will literally explode with love.
It inspires me to keep going. I can do this. This little one needs me to love and nurture myself and my body in order to love and nurture him. And in the meantime, I am going to cherish every flutter, kick, punch, somersault, and hiccup I can because THIS part of being a mama….I don’t have to share.
I don’t mind sharing, lord knows every mama needs a village to share child-raising with. But the little unshared moments are truly precious. And right now….these little movements….
It’s just us. Just me and my baby. <3
So….. there you have it: 6 things even a non-pregnancy fan finds herself completely in love with about being pregnant.
Whenever I’m feeling down, annoyed, uncomfortable, dreading labor, missing having my body to myself, or just plain feeling sorry for myself – I’m going to focus on these. Maybe even pull this up and read it to myself.
Because even though I don’t love being pregnant, it IS a miracle. And do you know what I else I love? Looking back on my life and knowing I fully lived in the moments, or at least gave it my best shot, and cherished the precious ones whenever I could.
Are there times and moments you want to cherish that don’t come natural to you? How do you embrace the mess and love on purpose? Comment below with stories and inspiration!
Cheers and love to you all! <3
Love.Messy.Life.
More about this blog: About Love.Messy.Life More about the author: About Lainey
Share this:
