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Hunger Pangs
You’re crying again. It’s piercing. I try to take deep breaths but my lungs must be punctured because I can’t seem to get any in. It’s visceral and I feel afraid. Like there are needles inside my body poking out through…
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Staring
I wonder if you can feel me staring. If it feels intrusive or makes you insecure Like I feel when people stare at me. But then I remember you don’t know those feelings yet. My stare is no different than the…
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To My Daughter, on Two Years Eve
Hi Baby Girl, Tomorrow – you turn 2. I know I’m going to have to accept that you aren’t a baby anymore. I see how hard you are working to be the best BIG sister. How proud you are to be…
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Beautiful
I feel pretty occasionally. Not very often, but I have my moments. My husband calls me beautiful. I smile and love him for it but often wonder how I got so lucky to find a guy with special rose-colored Lainey glasses…
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Hey There Mama, I Still See YOU
Hey There Mama, I just want you know that I still see YOU. Even though you’ve added the Mama role to your life. Even though sometimes you’re not sure YOU are still in there to be seen. I still see you…
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Baby? Wait…OMG I’m having a BABY!
This weekend it finally hit me: Oh my god…. I’M HAVING A BABY! AGAIN! Like I’ve actually done this whole baby thing before and I chose, consciously, without being coerced, to do it again. I repeat: Oh.My. GOD! What, in the…
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Temporary
Your laugh made me cry today. You were standing on your little trampoline bouncing and giggling. Your face was lit up with delightas bright as the actual sun.
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6 Things I Love About Being Pregnant
There are women out there who LOVE being pregnant. I am not one of those women. I've spent some time contemplating the things that I LOVE, like actually really LOVE (not just not hate or tolerate) about being pregnant. My plan…
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Becoming a Mom
I don’t know the exact day I became a Mom. It was gradual. Slow. Kind of like how one day you wake up and realize you’re not a kid anymore. One day I just realized, “Huh. I think I’m some version…
